TWIMC: A Quickie

To Whom It May Concern:

First, all due propers for capitalizing on the name  Quickie.  In the spirit of the name, let me pump this out quickly.

I bought a Quickie.  It faded…you guessed it…quickly.

the straws that broke this donkey's back.

the straws that broke the donkey’s back.



An error at the factory, fa’sho.

But I’m hopeful that you might redeem my experience by replacing it with a version that best lives up to your company’s standards.


Carlos Aguilar


writing wrongs.

writing wrongs.



To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing to express my dissatisfaction with my recent purchase of Glad’s New and Improved Odor Shield Febreze Fresh Clean Tall Kitchen Drawstring Bags 110 Count.


In my admittedly limited experience with Febreze, I’ve known it to be effective in neutralizing the odors of less than hygienic college students.

I smell the way I look the way I smell.

You can imagine my surprise then at the less than neutral odor emanating from these bags. They smell like wet, baby powder and cayenne pepper.

I hoped against hope that our household would become desensitized to the smell but alas, no luck. I still have over 100 bags left and I’m afraid they are of no use to us.  I’m planning on throwing these trash bags in a trash bag without even the slightest sense of irony.  But I paid nearly $20 for these bags!

I’m hopeful that you might redeem my experience by replacing this box with one of Glad’s more proven products. I’d be happy to share my impressions with the readers of my parenthood blog.

Thanks in advance,

Flashback Fight Friday: Beaba’s Kids

From the archives, this is one of my favorite interactions with a corporation (Williams and Sonoma) mainly because an employee decided to go rogue and write a sarcastic note back to me on Yelp!

My initial email:

To Whom It May Concern:

I recently purchased the Beaba Babycook Machine from your store at the Santa Anita Mall in Arcadia, California.

baby food, poppycock.

baby food, poppycock.

I paid over $180 for the machine. Upon opening the box, I noticed the cookbook was missing and the instruction manual was marked with dry-food stains, presumably indicating prior use.

When I called and spoke with the manager on duty, she notified me that it was IN FACT Williams and Sonoma policy to sell open-box items at full price  (without disclosing such information) if the item in question was never used.

Is this in fact your policy?! If so, why not provide your customers the common courtesy of knowing they are purchasing previously opened goods?!

Many luxury stores like your own refuse selling open-box items.  And those that  do they offer full disclosure and a discount.

It’s a shame you don’t do similarly.



Then came their corporate response:

Thank you for contacting Williams-Sonoma.

We are disheartened to hear about your poor retail experience.

Please know we have contacted the store manager at the Santa Anita Mall in California. She has verified that you have exchanged your original Beaba Baby Cook for a new one. She indicated that she did check the replacement to be sure that it had not been used.

For future reference it is not our policy to resale used merchandise.

We sincerely apologize for this inconvenience that this has caused. We thank you for your patronage. Your business is appreciated.

That was straight-forward enough even while side-stepping the fact they in fact sold an open-boxed item.    But then came a response via Yelp where I posted my letter.

I work at that Williams-Sonoma and am sorry about your experience. Unfortunately we are low volume store with a small amount of associates. We often take the word of the customer when they return an item and ask if they “had a chance to try it out” a polite way of saying did you use it. Any item that comes back to the store is suppose to be checked for use. This particular one slipped under the radar. What you failed to mention is that we rectified the situation immediately. 

Just an FYI. Most customers get extremely upset when we ask if they have used the item that they return. They take it as an insult. If more people where honest these types of mistakes would not be made. Also when items are retuned to our store it effects our bottom line therefore the more items returned the less money we have to operate efficiently, like adding more associates.

I hope you won’t allow this one incident to detour you from shopping with us in the future. Oh and by the way the Beaba is 149.00 not 180.00. Sorry for your inconvenience.

Oh, no, she didn’t! Pass the mic back over here!

I appreciate the response. And I empathize with the challenges of working with customers who aren’t always honest. But when you say you ‘rectified the situation immediately’ what that really means is I had to make the half hour drive to return the item, walk half a mile around the mall and into your store, explain the situation, walk the half mile back to my car and drive another half hour home. In all candor, you didn’t do much. 

With regards to returned items effecting your bottom line, that seems to me precisely the reason your store doesn’t more thoroughly inspect returned items. You have a vested interest in selling as many as you can.

Lastly, I paid $180 total (tax included). If you’d like refund me the difference I paid then I’d be more than happy to collect.

Big. Brown. Dad for the win!


Shark Bites Pt.1

To Whom It May Concern:

Cheers.  My name is Carlos Aguilar.  Yesterday, I called your customer service line and created a file re: my Shark S3101.  

I recently took up the inglorious task of maintaining the tile throughout my home.
While I’m happy to report that my Shark S3101 has served me well,  I’m sad to report that it hasn’t serve me always.
We bought our Shark at the local Target over a year ago.  We considered it an investment.  Sadly, the hook piece on the handle snapped thereby rendering the pole inoperative.
Inline image 3
This meant I had to continue the job on my hands and knees.
Inline image 2
As you might recall the temperature in LA was in the 90’s that week.
Inline image 1
I called in hopes of redeeming my experience by having a replacement piece sent to me.  I was surprised to learn though that you do not provide a replacement for this part.  While you were courteous enough to offer a great discount on the S3251, I’m afraid even then I would have to come out of pocket over $50.
Inline image 4
I’m hopeful you might redeem our purchase by replacing our S3101.
I’ll be happy to document our correspondence on my parenting blog,
I look forward to hearing back.



This is a follow up to TSSK, TSSK, WISK PT 1 that you can find here.

I’m happy to report that Sun Product Corporation (makers of the Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts ) recognized the challenges presented by their product and sent coupons as a gesture of goodwill. 



That was cool of them.  

They also sent a polite letter. 



That was nice of them.  In all honesty, I anticipated a different response:


Dear Carlos Aguilar


Thank you for contacting us regarding Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts.  We are very sorry to learn that you have nothing better to do than interrupt our otherwise productive day in order to respond to what is obviously a letter written to provoke our contempt.  Mission accomplished, big brown fat slow dad.


Hey, let’s make this easy for all of parties involved.  Never, ever buy one of our products again.  We don’t need your penny-pinching, constant complaining, long-letter loving ass. 


If for some reason you feel compelled to respond to this letter, be sure to send it to


Whogivesashit Lane



The Boss





Every now and again a company violates me in ways that compel my fury. Exhibit #4217

Wisk Consumer Services

To Whom it May Concern:

Cheers.  My name is Carlos Aguilar and I’m writing regarding a concern I have with Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts Super Concentrated Laundry Detergent.  I recently purchased 3 (24 count) bags at a local CVS this past month.  We’re a Tide family but I was compelled to try your brand for the first time because of the great value being offered.  CVS was selling 3 bags for $10.

Unfortunately, I encountered a problem across all three bags that I’d never encountered with Tide.  Namely, the Power Blasts were stuck together (see attached picture).  

This left me with a couple of options, neither of which were satisfying.  First, I could attempt to detach the Power Blasts. I did that a few times and busted several blasts in the process and wasted product.  My second option was throwing all the pods in the laundry.  That also had deleterious consequences: wasted soap and soapy clothes.  Each of the three bags had several Power Blasts conjoined in this way.

In the end, my purchase was not the deal I thought it was.  The savings washed away.  But I’m hopeful that you might redeem my experience by providing additional detergent.

I only have one package left.  The UPC is 0 7261345962 9.

I can be reached by email @ XXX or by phone @ XXXX.



Carlos Aguilar,





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