Last Fall, a producer from the Magnolia Network reached out to me because they came across this site and thought the Big Brown Fambam might have a story that would make sense for their program, Recipe Lost and Found.
And sure enough, we delivered.
Here’s the preview
You can catch the full episode on Discovery Plus.
Why waste time with words when there is vi…
When we were Seniors at Occidental College, me and the homie La Mont Terry concocted a plan, no…a scheme…nay…a heist.
We were determined to get paid for what we did best. No, not categorizing girls on campus based on their likely biblical counterparts. Eating. And writing. But mostly eating.
We wanted to eat for that heralded tribune, that paper of record, The Occidental. Had we eaten for the paper before? No. Was that gonna stop us? Potentially. Did it?
No.
I negotiated a $30 meal subsidy from the Editor in Chief, and coupled with a $30 article remuneration, we were gucci. No, we were the tasteBUDS.
We did our thing. Bucca. CPK. Cheescake Factory.
Won an award, too. But the biggest come up of them all…of all time, even…was when we convinced The Durfee Foundation to send the tasteBUDS to China for a summer for the sole purpose of categorizing women by their likely biblical counterpart.
And to eat. We got 6 racks each.
Our only responsibility was to eat Chinese food with Chinese people and journal about it (and later give a presentation on campus). There’s a lot of funny shit to write about but I especially like a story from our first full day in Beijing. You see, we wanted to make friends.
We were in Beijing, so we jumped in a taxi, pointed to an illustrated icon of a college building in a Lonely Planet and said, “Go. Here. Pliz.” Sure enough, we muscled our way through 99 minutes of traffic and finally onto Beijing University (colloquially referred to as Beida). Beida is China’s MIT. We didn’t know that. We didn’t know shit.
When we stepped on campus, we walked aimlessly for 15 minutes, searching for any friendly white face who might save, er, help us make sense of the campus. After a day and a half of miming, we needed a hit of English.
Instead, we came across a half dozen Chinese students dribbling a basketball.
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit,” I thought to myself. “I talk basketball. I got game.”
Lamont? Not so much.
So I stepped to the crew and did my best caveman: “You. Ball. Me. Ball. Together. Shoot. Ball.”
And the Chinese graduate student in British Literature responded to me with most pleasant Anglican lilt I’d ever countenanced:
“Surely, lad. You can join us.”
And join them we did.
Fucked around and got a triple double.
This article originally appeared in the Occidental Weekly. Visit funbelly.com to grab your tickets to our upcoming tours.
Author: Daphne Auza
A group of eight followed Occidental alumnus Carlos Aguilar ’98 down Colorado Boulevard during the April 19 soft launch of his food tour company, Fun Belly. The party made six stops on their three-hour tour, including one at Little Beast for a sampling of American comfort food and one at Four Cafe for their organic options. Between dishes, Aguilar entertained his hungry guests with Eagle Rock’s local history and provided stories on the background of each establishment they visited.
With the thousands of restaurants and diverse flavors that make up Los Angeles’ food scene, food tours allow both locals and visitors to sample the lot. Guides take customers on a walking tour of the neighborhood, stopping at restaurants for tastings that add up to a full meal. According to Aguilar, Fun Belly focuses on the dining options available in developing neighborhoods in the San Gabriel Valley and Los Angeles.
“When you take a look at tours that other companies offer, they’re in places like Laguna Beach and Downtown LA,” Aguilar said. “The tours that I offer now are grounded in the history of the San Gabriel Valley and the development of the city of Los Angeles.”
Fun Belly currently offers three-hour public walking tours of eateries in Eagle Rock and the Claremont Village. Public tours in each neighborhood take place once a week, while private tours for special occasions, corporate teams and other groups of six or more may be reserved at any time. Aguilar is also in the process of developing tours for Old Town Pasadena and Highland Park.
Not every tour is the same, according to Aguilar. To plan the tour, he coordinates the time and date for the visit with the restaurant owners and managers and sometimes requests certain dishes or off-menu items. Each tour guarantees at least six tastings.
“Even if the food turns out to be the same [on each tour], the type of information changes because there’s so much rich history, I could never cover it,” Aguilar said.
Before starting Fun Belly, Aguilar wrote and produced documentaries on the Bible, American Idol, WWE and NASCAR, along with food and travel segments for television. Brad Haskell, who attended the launch of the Eagle Rock tour, worked with Aguilar as a camera operator at Associated Television International. He said that the tour was reminiscent of the days when he and Aguilar traveled the country to film and produce television segments.
“[Food] was always a part of our experience, so it was like we were travel hosts or food critics going around and tasting different things from wherever we went,” Haskell said. “The food tour business is cool because it gives people the opportunity to have that experience without traveling too far.”
Aguilar first formally ventured into food culture as an undergraduate when he and education Professor Clarence LaMont Terry—also a student at the time—wrote a column for The Weekly called “tasteBUDS.” Initially the column reviewed meal options on campus, but they eventually convinced local eateries to sponsor their meals with the prospect of free advertising.
“Many, if not most, Oxy students recognized that college meal plans were generally problematic and not designed for students from working class families,” Terry said. “So, while we made it our mission to regularly ‘hack’ the meal plan system, we were also very much interested in what food choices northeast Los Angeles has to offer.”
Aguilar and Terry expanded the scope of their column even further when they applied for a grant from the Durfee Foundation, which allowed them to study interpersonal dynamics around dining in Beijing and Shanghai for six weeks. Aguilar continues to integrate this connection between history, culture and food into his motivation for giving food tours.
“Food is not just something you eat; it’s the culture around the preparation, the serving, consumption and appreciation of the food,” Aguilar said.
With each tour, Aguilar strives to tell a more inclusive history of the neighborhood the group is visiting. After going on a food tour in the San Gabriel Valley offered by the Claremont Historical Society, he said that it neglected the complex history of the area’s development. He plans to avoid doing the same by conducting more localized research, like asking restaurant owners about their personal history within the community.
Aguilar hopes to grow his company by hiring and training tour guides and establishing relationships with more restaurants. In the meantime, he looks forward to receiving feedback from the community at his alma mater.
“[This company] is new and if I were to have 100 people give me feedback on a tour, I’d like as many Oxy folk as possible,” he said.
There’s an Angel on my left shoulder and she’s telling me to say “NO” to social media for Lent.
“’But…but…but you work in social media” sayeth the Devil on my right shoulder, in between looking at his IG profile.
‘Ok, then, no non-work related social media for 40 days,’ the Angel screams back at the top of her aching lungs.
Why tho?
Will it hurt?
Mommy, I’m scared.
To add insult to misery, I’m avoiding sugary snacks and wheat (e.g., bread, tortillas, life) for 40 days, too.
Look, I haven’t observed Lent in decades. (More on that later…maybe.)
Why now?
Well, the self-denial could do me some good. What kind of good? I don’t know but we’re about to find out.
So, how’s Day 1 Hour ZERO going, you ask? Well, I’ve already unwittingly checked FB, Twitter and IG while standing idly in the kitchen waiting for my coffee to brew. It’s a curious habit; one I’m looking to break. So, I’ve removed the apps from my phone…but not before impulsively checking them a half dozen times before lunch.
Shit just got real.
While there’s a spiritual root to this exercise, I’m also motivated by material productivity.
I’m hoping I can scratch a few things off my ‘meaning to do but probably won’t’ list, including purging my Inboxes and removing additional time sucking apps from my phone. I’ll be doing some reflective journal writing and I might even meditate every morning.
Catch me by phone or better yet by face. That way I can look into your soul and exorcise the demon of Tumblr and MySpace from you.
Dads!
(OK, Moms, too).
This is my gift unto you.
When ordering at the local hood burger joint (e.g., Chris’, Tammy’s, Victor’s), ALWAYS order the Jr Burger instead of the regular burger. It’s marginally smaller but exponentially cheaper.
Now, if everyone here took my advice and mailed me 10% of their savings, I’d have enough money to…buy the regular burger…with cheese.
I eats candy.
Ask about me.
In the car. In the bed. In the shower.
Hard candy. Hot candy. Free candy.
You?
Sure, you eat candy. But are you doing it right?
Probably not. So let me hip you to the Top 5 Candies, Dead or Alive.
5. Peanut M&Ms
Choosing Peanut over Chocolate M&Ms is the clearest way to signal you value quality over quantity; that or you’re gonna end up eating your kid’s chocolate bag anyhow.
4. Nerds
If you feel some sorta way about shotgunning standard size Nerds boxes, the tiny tot cartridge is ready to be put into action.
3. Sour Patch Kids
Some twisted confectionery exec decided that ‘kids these days are too soft,’ so he created Sour Patch Cheek Lining Destroyer Acid as a way to deliver hypertension on top of diabetes. But these shits hit.
2. Gobstoppers
These sugar rocks picked up where that juvenile rite of passage, The Jawbreaker, left off. While requiring less commitment than the original, Gobstoppers remind us that some things in life require biting down really, fucking hard.
1.Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Misspelled more than misspelled itself, the current exchange rate is 17 Almond Joys for 1 Reese’s PB Cup; 25 if the cup is refrigerated; 50 if it’s been in the freezer.
Enjoy your Halloween. May your pillowcases abound with these candies and may a Bible tract never make its way into the lot.
Santa Claus is coming early this year and he’s touching down at White Park in Riverside. And he’s bringing beer and Carlos Mencia.
The IE Taco Festival is gonna smack.
I had a chance to chat with Not Your MaMa’s Tacos, an upstart outfit looking to bring something different to the taco festival circuit. Let me be the first to tell you, these Sonoran Style Crispy Tacos just hit different, bruh.
1. Tell me about the name.
We created “Not Your MaMa’s Tacos” in memory of our MaMa, the matriarch of our family. For decades each of our family members have enjoyed our MaMa’s tacos which was passed down from her mother, who originated from La Reforma Sonora, Mexico. With all the ingredients she used within these delicious tacos, the main ingredient has been her love. Continuing the tradition of our family tacos, we bring you tacos that are unlike your MaMas and represent ours. ️
2. What makes these tacos different?
This is not your everyday street taco you get from a taco truck, street taco cart, or at your local taqueria. These fried quality ground beef tacos are unlike any taco you have tried before!! Topped with fresh cut lettuce, shredded cheese and our family taco sauce!
3. What kind of responses have you had to your tacos?
A common theme of responses are they have never had tacos like this before. People who would generally eat one taco ate 3-4 tacos! & they constantly ask when we are making tacos again so they can come over.
4. Have you seen these style of tacos anywhere in California?
Some may advertise unique tacos but we have never seen any like ours. Other places have ground beef but chopped to pieces like Taco Bell where ours is more like a patty shape. Our flavors are also unmatched.
5. What are you expecting at the IE Taco Festival.
To be voted number one taco in the IE as well as get our name out there. We know our tacos are delicious so we cannot wait until everyone gets the opportunity to try them!
6. Where can people taste these?
This Saturday, at the IE TACO FESTIVAL. We are also available for private parties, dm us on Instagram @noturmamastacos
I’ll be there with a salsa stained brain. Mention Big Brown Dad at the NYMT booth and they’ll throw some extra cheese on that mug.
UPDATE: NOT YOUR MAMA’S TACOS WINS BEST TACO AT IE TACO FESTIVAL 2019!
Something freaky is happening in the mechanosphere, the world of operating things.
That’s a neologism cuz, you know, that’s just how I get down.
First, the temperature gauge on my gooseneck kettle broke. So, I did what any penny pinching dad would do, I looked on Craigslist for a discounted replacement.
And then Offer Up. Then EBAY. Then Amazon.
And then spent $11 on a replacement that was no replacement at all.
But I might’ve just jump started my home brew beer kit with that one.
If that wasn’t enough to throw my mornings into disarray, my toaster shorted on me. That toaster gave us a good 19 years, too. Damn it.
Target and Walmart are a whole 1.4 miles away and until I work up enough energy to go there, this’ll have to do:
The bright side, of course, is that I get to enjoy the locally roasted coffee from the homie, Brian Gomez at The Roasted Bean.
If I might:
your darkness delivers us
from evil
and
your warmth
heats a thousand empty chambers.
you are beans, grounded.
you are water, elevated.
You are $22 for 12oz, damn it.
The michelada is having its moment. The sometimes spicy, often red, Mexican beer-cocktail is trending and transnational breweries, local bars and home-based hustlers are cashing in.
In 2014 alone, an estimated $25 million dollars worth of micheladas were sold in the United States (and that’s a conservative back of napkin calculation extrapolated from my personal consumption).
In its simplest form, the michelada consists of beer, tomato juice, salt, lime and chile. In its more elaborate manifestations, the michelada is a wonder to behold.
Peep game.
1. Canchelada
Budweiser, Tecate and Modelo each sell a canned version of a michelada. Be advised: If you show up to a backyard boogie with any of these in a bag, take the beer out of the bag and then place the bag over your head.
2. Styrocheladas
When you need a quick fix, reach for a pre-made michelada mix. It’s simple. Pour. Stir. Drink. Pollute. If you’re resourceful, there’s enough mix to last two beers. And the styrofoam cup? Get used to it. It’ll be around for a few decades.
3. Michelada De Mano
Listen, if you want a michelada made right, make it yourself. Rejoice, as your michelada can be infinitely modified. You decide between Clamato and V8; Tapatio or Tabasco; Tajin or celery salt; Worcester or soy sauce? And that’s just the beginning (see: below)! There is ONE rule, though: Only use Mexican beer. Make that TWO rules: Pour a little out for the homies who ain’t here.
4. MACHOlada
Drinking a beef-broth michelada is a rite of passage. In addition to putting hair on your chest (sorry, ladies), this carnivorous concoction purportedly puts more pepper in your stepper. Get the recipe here.
5. 赤ビール
Santa Ana, California is home to one of the oldest Latino neighborhoods in the U.S. It’s also the birthplace of a dynamic iteration of our beloved classic. Jeff Hal, owner of Chapter One: the modern local, approaches cocktails with the same creative zeal he does his food. Their Asian inspired miso-lada is comprised of ginger puree, wasabi, uzu, salt, pepper and fish sauce. Don’t look for it on their menu, though. It’s a secret, so when you order, punctuate your request with the Chicano headnod.
6. Post-Modern Michelada
Leave it to hipsters to take a perfectly good drink and deconstruct it, only to reconstruct it as a shadow of the original. At Diablo Urban Taco Fabricators (that’s the name, smack me with a chancla if I’m lying) in Silverlake, Ca, they’ve created a michelada-mix-popsicle-stick. The popsicle sits in your beer.
The fundamental problem here is straight-forward. Serve cold beer and the popsicle mix doesn’t melt, serve a warm beer and I ain’t paying for that sh*t!
7. Michelada Mariscos
Jenny and Robert Lopez from Pomona, Ca have perfected a home-based hustle by hand-making decadent Michelada mixes and promoting them on Instagram. Their Ceviche Michelada is a top seller. To start, they rim the glass with a handmade, salted chile paste. Then they use a proprietary homemade michelada mix. That’s followed by a botana of crab, shrimp, tomato, avocado and lime. Impressed? Good. They’re just getting started.
8. Holy Michelada
Inspired by a church from his home state of Sinaloa, Mexico, Robert created La Catedral. La Catedral features cucumbers stuffed with ceviche, crab, peanuts, tamarindo, lime, their homemade michelada mix and handmade chilito preparado. Amen and Halleluia!
9.Pina-chelada
Pina Colada, move over, because there’s a new way to get faded off the prickly fruit. Rumor has it Jenny came up with the idea after going to La Catedral one too many times . This mammoth michelada is served with their signature michelada mix, chamoy, lime, chile paste and peanuts. And pineapple, lots of pineapple.
Now that’s just bananas.
10. Crown Mary
Smack dab in the American heartland, Sobelmans of Milwaukee serves the ridonkulous Crown Mary — a bloody beer (uhum, michelada) garnished with celery stalk, green onion, cherry tomatoes, lemon, shrimp, sausage, pickled asparagus, pickled mushroom, pickled brussel sprouts, and a hamburger.
A f*cking HAMBURGER!
One thing is abundantly clear, the michelada flood gates have opened. Don’t mind me, I’ll be sitting here at river’s end with my mouth wide open.
This article originally appeared in Flama before Univision shutdown the platform to focus on variety shows with clowns and hula hoops.
There are over 3,000 registered food trucks and carts in Los Angeles. Their offerings run the gamut from sushi to steaming buns. But twisted get it don’t. The staple of late-night Los Angeles grubbery has always been the taco truck.
Here’s why:
Taco trucks are open when nothing else is open. Yes, they’re often situated in sketchy neighborhoods with less than adequate lighting, but consider the trip to the taco truck an adventuresome way to extend your late night out with the crew.
Taco trucks attract diverse crowds. Don’t be surprised when the Filipino-American businessman in front of you decides on the lengua tacos with salsa roja. Count it as normal when the Armenian-American college students behind you order a half-dozen, off-menu Quesadillas. This is Los Angeles.
Taco trucks are the business. They provide a relatively low-cost opportunity to start a family business. The husband-and-wife taco truck tag team is commonplace, with the best of them able to switch roles between cook and cashier at the drop of a hairnet.
Taco trucks are reasonably priced. If you’re paying more than $2 per taco, you’re getting got. Remember to bring cash. It’s likely a mom and pop operation, so there’s no reason to get Uncle Sam involved, nahmean?
Taco trucks give you an opportunity to practice your Spanish. Ordering in Spanish will likely result in larger portions even if your Spanish is wick wick wack. Don’t try this tactic at a Chinese restaurant, their Spanish is likely to be just as bad.
Taco trucks have hard-to-find Mexican Coke. The Coke from Mexico is all they say it is. Put the glass to your lips and it hits your system like lightning. It numbs your face. It gets you wired. And when you’re done, you can burp and declare your trip to the taco truck a success.
This article originally appeared in the now defunct Univision content platform for English speaking Latinos called…well, shit…who remembers? It was 2014.