by Big Brown Dad | Apr 29, 2014 | To Whom It May Concern:
This is a follow up to TSSK, TSSK, WISK PT 1 that you can find here.
I’m happy to report that Sun Product Corporation (makers of the Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts ) recognized the challenges presented by their product and sent coupons as a gesture of goodwill.
That was cool of them.
They also sent a polite letter.
That was nice of them. In all honesty, I anticipated a different response:
Dear Carlos Aguilar
Thank you for contacting us regarding Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts. We are very sorry to learn that you have nothing better to do than interrupt our otherwise productive day in order to respond to what is obviously a letter written to provoke our contempt. Mission accomplished, big brown fat slow dad.
Hey, let’s make this easy for all of parties involved. Never, ever buy one of our products again. We don’t need your penny-pinching, constant complaining, long-letter loving ass.
If for some reason you feel compelled to respond to this letter, be sure to send it to
2323
Whogivesashit Lane
Sincerely,
The Boss
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 28, 2014 | Education
please proceed with caution!
Did you know that 20% of automobile accidents occur in parking lots? You did?!
Well, earlier this year I noticed the lack of clear signage in the parking lot at Maya’s Pre-K campus, Merwin Elementary in Covina Valley Unified. So I wrote an email, dammit and changed the world in the process.
See below:
Cheers. My name is Carlos Aguilar and I’m writing to follow up on the safety concerns I expressed in a previous email on 8/26/13. Principal Faur was kind enough to call me shortly thereafter and we talked through each of my concerns. I’m happy to say some of my concerns have been addressed but I’m disappointed to say several others haven’t.
Most of my pressing concerns are related to the lack of clear signage directing traffic into and around the parking lot.
Specifically, the ENTER and EXIT ONLY directions are not legible.
Enter @ your own risk!
GTFOH!
I’m alarmed that this problem wasn’t remedied immediately, considering the the parking lot has been the scene of previous accidents.
In addition to repainting the directions on the ground, I strongly urge that signage be posted at eye-level as well.
I still have concerns regarding the lack of highly visible signage while entering the school zone when traveling E on Cypress. Even more, the safety and traffic signs that do exist are obscured by vegetation or graffiti.
For the past several days, I’ve noticed Irwindale Police parked furtively in a nook across the street so as to (presumably) ticket traffic violations. It’s unfortunate that the officers aren’t parked more visibly so as to PREVENT unsafe traffic violations in a school zone rather than punish them after the fact.
Unfortunately, I have to take this as further proof that school safety isn’t the highest priority in our neighborhood.
Sincerely,
Big Brown Dad
It took two weeks and a follow up call to the Superintendent but low and behold, my prayers were answered!
Big.Brown.Dad.Scores!
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 28, 2014 | Play Date
This is an exceptionally safe micro-park with an extraordinarily dull playground. Heritage Park is connected to the Covina Police Station which means you won’t find any of the ‘drifters’ here that you’ll find at Hollenbeck or Covina Parks. While the playground is tiny, it’s a great place to spend 15 minutes working off some energy before strolling through Old Town Covina. And it’s dog friendly, too!
floor fountain for Fido.
Slide. Slide. Slippity, Slide.
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 27, 2014 | Education
I love this piece of art. It’s by Lawrence Weiner, peep game.
It’s simple yet elegant and functions both as prayer and proverb. It’s a message to live by. It’s the message I want to pass onto Maya and Joaquin.
Take another look at the language:
DO IT.
DO IT.
DO IT.
Three times. It’s a chant. It’s a cheer.
DO WHAT?
Doubt is part of the journey.
FIND AN IT YOU WANT
That’s when you need to dig inside yourself and define for yourself what you want.
AND DO IT!
Amen.
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 25, 2014 | To Whom It May Concern:
Wick.Wack.Wisk.
Every now and again a company violates me in ways that compel my fury. Exhibit #4217
Wisk Consumer Services
To Whom it May Concern:
Cheers. My name is Carlos Aguilar and I’m writing regarding a concern I have with Wisk Deep Clean Power Blasts Super Concentrated Laundry Detergent. I recently purchased 3 (24 count) bags at a local CVS this past month. We’re a Tide family but I was compelled to try your brand for the first time because of the great value being offered. CVS was selling 3 bags for $10.
Unfortunately, I encountered a problem across all three bags that I’d never encountered with Tide. Namely, the Power Blasts were stuck together (see attached picture).
This left me with a couple of options, neither of which were satisfying. First, I could attempt to detach the Power Blasts. I did that a few times and busted several blasts in the process and wasted product. My second option was throwing all the pods in the laundry. That also had deleterious consequences: wasted soap and soapy clothes. Each of the three bags had several Power Blasts conjoined in this way.
In the end, my purchase was not the deal I thought it was. The savings washed away. But I’m hopeful that you might redeem my experience by providing additional detergent.
I only have one package left. The UPC is 0 7261345962 9.
I can be reached by email @ XXX or by phone @ XXXX.
Sincerely,
Carlos Aguilar, bigbrowndad.com
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 25, 2014 | Food Reviews
I outfoxed that circle-headed Jack N The Box and figured out a way to eat for free, forever.
This entire ruse is built on @GoldPeakTea (which, btw, is as good as industrial Ice-T gets). I take about 5 to the face each week. Participating JNTB’s are selling 44 oz of that elixir for only a dollar. That’s love. And if that’s not enough, enterprising fast food fiends like you and me can turn that dollar into two free tacos, literally, ad nauseam.
Every JNTB receipt invites you to take a phone survey. Your reward? You guessed it, two tacos for that fast-food fix. And as one in perpetual pursuit of the come-up, I wondered, could I game this system?
I had 4 valid receipts that met the 3 day purchase window.
Each purchase was a dollar. How long would it take me to run through 4 consecutive phone surveys and claim my 8 tacos? Were they going to stop me? You’re about to find out!
read’em and weep.
- Survey 1: TRT 3:00 I ran through the entire gauntlet of questions and was given a redemption code.
- Survey 2: TRT 1:27 After inputting general receipt data, I answered one question and was shuttled to the end and given a redemption code.
- Survey 3: TRT :50s Only input general data and then given code
- Survey 4: : TRT 45s ditto
Total Run(s) TIme
Now, I just have to find someone with the intestinal fortitude that wants to eat these pieces of shits.
by Big Brown Dad | Apr 24, 2014 | Play Date
You can’t front. Before the home gaming systems explosion of the late 80’s, Chuck E Cheese restaurants were the lick. Tempest was my joint. Centipede, my jam.
Launched by Atari founder, Nolan Bushnell, in 1977 the chains 500 restaurants have seen brighter days. As it turns out, switching Chuck’s swag from hip hop to rock had their dough looking like their dough.
Chuck lost…weight, a hockey jersey and street-cred.
This past Saturday I was sitting on some left-over tokens from a b-day party earlier this month. So I rounded up Maya & Joaquin @ 8:45 am, determined to be the first in line to squeeze life from this 8-bit reliquary.
Chuck E Cheese is fashioned after old-time Vegas casinos: alternative currency, absence of clocks, robo-tainment and disgusting food. But it remains a great place to keep kids occupied. Always the concerned Father, I established two inviolable rules:
- We leave as soon as we run out of tokens.
- Don’t put your mouth on anything, especially the pizza. CEC has always been more petri dish than deep dish.
holding a half-hour in my hand.
Gimme the loot! Gimme the loot!
Score!
Beep. Buzz. Bam.
Alashazam.
22 minutes later, we were ghost! And 45 minutes later, Joaquin asleep.
