by Big Brown Dad | Sep 22, 2014 | Home Improvement
Earth? Yeah, I can dig it.
We left Home Depot with a little over $60 in drought tolerant plants as well as some lettuce and cauliflower for Big Brown Dad’s ruffage patch.
Let me guess. You want me to drive, too?
We’re converting the borders along our backyard, one small section at a time. Apparently, fallen leaves with orange peel on dusted mulch isn’t a Home and Garden approved aesthetic.
Two interesting notes about Home Depot:
1) They have a year long plant guarantee. If your plant dies within a year you can bring in the dead plant remains with proof of purchase for an exchange. Morbid much? But I see right through this coy marketing scheme. For starters, most people aren’t keeping receipts around for that long. Even more, if I kept my receipts, I’d be too damned ashamed to walk the length of the warehouse head-hanging into the garden section with dead plants. Well, maybe not that ashamed.
2) If you’re looking to engage the services of day laborers stationed outside, you’d be wise to familiarize yourself with union-breaking tactics as the would-be employees have colluded to set minimum wage at $15 p/h. Act like you know.
When we got back from Home Depot, my wife tilled the soil while I posed for pictures. She wanted to take full credit for whatever success might follow. I wanted photographic evidence that suggested she had help.
Suffering Succatash
Stage 1 Succulents.
These should live and we should propagate. But the 12 heads of lettuce and 6 head of cauliflower I bought had grimmer hopes.
And lest I be blamed for their death, I enlisted help. Meet my scapegoats:
Exhibit A
I think I overwatered them while they sat in their trays. The plants, people! Not the kids. Those kids never get water, dammit!
I hesitate to post pictures as it might reify their fate but alas consider it a hope against hope.
See you on the other side, bitches.
Now… excuse me but I have a receipt to fish out of a trash can.
BigBrownDad
by Big Brown Dad | Sep 22, 2014 | Home Improvement
Made a quick trip to Home Depot this morning in search of some drought resistant greenery for the backyard.
My wife is powered by Pinterest and has some ideas for the backyard. You know what that means: Joaquin and I have been enlisted for some manuel labor.
It’s too damned hot to plant anything right now but we’ll be back with an update come sunset.
This post was composed on my I phone using the Word Press App. Not really feeling the limitations.
by Big Brown Dad | Sep 20, 2014 | Play Date
Del Norte Park, 1598 W Rowland, West Covina, 91790
This highly prized park has attracted unauthorized migrants from Covina, Baldwin Park and Irwindale for decades. And for good reason. It. has. it. all.
It sports an expansive playground with a NASA motif.
Houston, we have reports of urine in Sector 6.
And a dog park.
Houston, we have reports of urine in Sector 9.
And a splash pad, too.
Hou guessed it.
It was a great place for Joaquin to make new friends.
follow me, boo.
And at least one enemy. Take a listen for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsc4xMRPcjI
I guess now is when I tell you they were arguing over who was going to pay for shorty’s lunch.
by Big Brown Dad | Sep 19, 2014 | Food Reviews
Old like really, old like old with an E, Olde!
Shit. I turn 40 in 40 days. And it strikes me that I have a choice to be either fat or fit by forty and I have exactly forty days to secure my fate. Fuck. Forty.
I need to do it for me. I need to do it for my wife and kids. I need to do it for my mattress and box spring.
I’ll document it here to help keep me accountable. Research suggests social pressure (in the form of not wanting to appear to be a fucking failure) increases my chances of following thru, even if only negligibly in my case.
I’m essentially following the guidelines laid out in Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Body. I’m eliminating sweets, wheat/carbs for 6 days a week and focusing on lean meat, beans and greens. He calls it the slow-carb diet. But I would love to hear what type of books helped change your way of thinking about food, nutrition and the body. I know by keeping my head in the literature, I’ll have more reason to say no to all the tasty shit screaming my name.
this is on the kitchen counter, right in front of me, right now!
My 40 day hit list includes:
Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer
Omnivores Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Salt, Sugar, Fat by Michael Moss
What should I add?
